Mommy is still grieving

Mommy is not doing well, at least I do not think so.  Since her mother died two months ago, she just isn't the same anymore.  She used to talk to me, joke around with me, but she does not talk anymore, or laugh with me. 

Sometimes I see her smile when she is on the computer or watching TV or maybe when she is on the phone, but it never lasts.  The other day I overheard her say that she feels dead inside, like a part of her died when her mother died.

She seems to be living in a state of darkness, no light, no joy, each day she seems farther and farther away from me.  I try and give her my sad look but sometimes she does not even notice it.  She seems so sad, like today she was on the phone with customer svc and they asked her to verify her account and asked her what her mother's maiden name was and my mommy just broke down on the phone.  I just sat next to her, I could not do anything.  If only I could speak.

I would tell her funny jokes or maybe speak to her and tell her what I did today and maybe even tell her what I saw the neighbor's dog doing to the cat that wanders the neighborhood, but doubt she would have enjoyed that.  I feel like walking around with a sign that says, "dog needs walk"  mommy has forgotten to take me on walks the lat two days.  She just seems to be in another world.  She is very busy though, trying to put the house on the market, but my daddy wont help her with any of the repair costs and costs needed to get the house ready for market.

He left mommy for a skanky skank of all skanks and they bought a house together, anyway, he is not worth mentioning because why waste my breath on a man who was never there for me anyway.  Mommy was the one who really took care of me and took me on super long walks and I am talking about walks that lasted over an hour, through the forest and on trails, swimming, she did everything with me, all daddy wanted to do was stick his cheating nose in his computer and email the skank, which is probably why he never went with us, it gave him time to chat via email.

I think mom needs a vacation but she is too busy to take one, now if I could convince her to take one maybe she would take me with her.  Maybe I can get her to take me swimming tomorrow, what I need to do is get her out of this house!!!! I need to get her to start taking me on walks again, playing ball at the park again, taking me to the lake again, taking me for walks in downtown again!!!  I need her to remember our relationship, spend time together, she is pushing everyone who is close to her away.  She can not push me away because we live together.

I think I am the only one who can really help her right now, what it all comes down to is I am the only one who is really here for her and the closest family she has.  She has me, but she really does not see me. Not right now, her grief is too great.  I somehow need to get through to her, and well if all else fails, I suppose I can start ripping up the couch cushions or marking in the house but that just is not the response I want to get, I want her to look at me and remember me as her best friend, the friend that LOVES her UNCONDITIONALLY and is ALWAYS here for her and WILL always be here for her no matter what.

Tomorrow is a new day, I will get her out of the house, on a long walk, no worries about bills or mowing the yard or cleaning the house just a nice walk with me and she will remember our bond and remember and realize I am here to help her through her grief because that is what a loyal companion does, we support those we treasure and I treasure her just as much as she treasures me.  They don't say dogs are a mans best friend for nothing right!!!  I will help her through her grieving!!!