I am in love!!!

OK, so I am in love, no big secret, everyone knows who it is, JAKE, THE JAKE MAN!! Love of my life, he is coming to visit me in April, next month!!!  He used to live next door to me and he moved in when he was a puppy and we clicked right off the bat.  Sure he tried to become Alpha dog right from the start but I quickly make him my bitch, he and I knew who the Alpha dog was and is.  He and I would hump till crazy in the back yard, drove our mother's crazy, they had to constantly yell at us and pull us apart.  

Well, what did they expect, we were in love and my mom took a picture of us together when I learned Jake was moving and all the love I had for him was captured in that picture, which I will post with this blog entry.

He even sent me a little risky photo of himself all dressed up in my favorite color, red.

He is a minx that one, I am so eager to see him again and to play with him and run with him and wag tails with him and yep, we will hump again as that is what we did most of the time anyway!! Hmmm, I will put one of those pics up as well for you to see.  We just did, took turns, showing our love for each other, of course mom and his mom said Jake was just trying and then I was trying to establish Alpha dog but truth be told, the truth of our love was captured in the photo you see next to the entry, we are and have always been in love.  I sooooo, can not wait to see the love of my life in April, just a few more weeks and he will be here, YEEHAAAAA!!!

Sad

I have not written in a long while as my mommy lost her mother and she has been very sad lately, I have been comforting her and loving her and being nice to her, no shoving in bed, no back kicks, nothing but resting my head on her when she looks sad and occasionally making her laugh at my goofy antics.  I have the best mom but my mommy had the best mother ever. A woman who came to this country in the 60's not knowing the English language or custom and raised to small children without any help from anyone, and she never took assistance from the govt. She worked hard, put us through school and my mom's brother, my uncle, is a neurosurgeon.  My mom is an ex police officer who is going back to school to finish her BA degree and become a sonographer.

She has an AA with a 4.0, she worked hard but let me tell you when she would come home with her homework I gave her such a hard time.  I would push the books away and lay my head in her lap and not leave her alone until she played with me.

She did and then went back to her school work but I was so jealous as I wanted all of her attention.

She is a good mommy, has taken care of me and loves me and I thank God I have her in my life.  I for right now have been taking care of her and comforting her as only I can, with lots of tail wags, wet kisses, and constant attention.  

Damn that Cesar Millan!

Grrrr, I caught mommy on Ceasar Millan's web site yesterday!  She usually watches the Dog Whisperer but for some reason, which now I know why of course, she was on his web site.  I guess I pulled too hard on Sunday when we went to the park.  She took me for a walk and I noticed she used some new tricks on me.  OK, sure I was pulling again and acting like I was the leader of the pact.  But she was not having any of that.  She used some tricks that worked, she pulled my leash up high on my neck and kept the leash short.  We stopped when I tried to pull ahead and did not move again till the leash has some slack in it.  She kept reinforcing the word "sit" over and over again when I became distracted by other people ( and their crotches) and other dogs ( and their crotches too) and we did not walk again until I complied.

She also did not let me sniff the ground or mark till I walked correctly and as a reward she obliged at the end of the walk with some ground sniffing.  She also gave me some nice head rubs, ear rubs and lots of praises at the end of each good act.  And then to top it all off, at the end of the walk, when we were getting ready to go into the house she did something different.  She did not allow me to enter first.  She entered first.  HMMMFFF!!! I always entered first, but not anymore.  I guess I should not have pulled so hard on Sunday, I mean her hands were pretty raw and red from my constant pulling to get into the water.

I guess I  need to learn how to disconnect the power source to the computer when she is on so she does not get anymore tips from Cesar.  I would like to see him come here and try to train me, I bet I could give him his money's worth.  Thing's were so good between mom and I before she found this dog whisperer.  Well, I at least get my revenge in the bed as I made sure I was a complete bed hog last night.  I started out near the edge of the bed, then I migrated towards the center and then I ended up slab dab in the middle!  I did not kick her or jerk around like I sometimes do when I want to get back at her, but tonight I just made myself comfortable in the middle of the bed, all legs extended out and as comfortable and snug as a bug.

I so enjoyed having some control even if it was at the grace of my mom's good heart. She loves me so much she just could not bring herself to kick me out of the bed, luckily we have a king size bed, she would just get up and find another spot to sleep in.  I so have her trained!!!  I guess you can call me the "Human Whisperer"

Mommy was sick today

I worry about mommy sometimes, she does not take good care of herself.  Today she was sick all day and just slept most of the day.  I stayed with her, cuddled next to her in bed.  Kept her warm as she suffered through her fever and chills.  When she got up to get something to drink I went with her.  I was so well behaved today.  I did not bother her, or beg her to walk me.  she did however throw some treats to the top of the stairs and have me run after them.  She created this game and I love it.  I also get a great workout, she only does it to give me cardio and the vet said it was a great way to strengthen my muscles.

The vet also said for a ten year old lab I am very fit.  Mommy wants to keep me around as long as possible, I heard her tell the vet this, the vet encouraged her to continue to the game and keep me fit and active.  Mommy wanted to walk me, I could see it in her eyes.  She has this sad look sometimes that I can read, today I did not take advantage of it.  I understood she was sick and I did not hound her.  Heeee, hound, I love the pun but anyway mommy is doing better tonight.  She had some dinner and fed me, she never forgets to feed me or to take care of me no matter how sick she is.  We had a pretty boring day but I enjoyed having her with me all day today, that was my treat.  I even behaved in bed while she slept, no kicking or jerking.

She will more than likely go to bed early tonight, I do not mind.  I at least got to play some and she will cuddle with me again, she is so warm.  I hope I am as warm for her as she is for me.  I am pretty sure of it, I have fur, she does not.  I am just hoping she takes me somewhere again on Sunday, I love these outings, maybe I can go for another swim or hike.  That would be nice.

I will have to let her think it is her idea and not mine, I am sure I can con her into something.

I have this way too.  I was blessed with sad puppy dog eyes.  I can look very miserable if I want to and I pull that old trick all the time.  

Alas I did not pull that trick today, instead I was well behaved and took care of my master.  After all that is the least I can do as she takes good care of me.

Oh the aroma.....

OK, so I admit it, the one bad habit I have is sniffing crotches.  Can't help it, just now mommy had a knock at the door and I ran her over to get to the door first.  I wanted to be a gentleman and open it for her, she does not understand this as she feels I am trying to be the Alpha dog ( which I am by the way) and she pulls me back.  Anyway, some guy was there who was asking a question and I broke free and did my thing, lunged towards his crotch and got a big whiff!  Mommy was horrified and the man jumped.  Mommy yelled and pulled me back but I was already buried nose deep in scent, finally I allowed her to pull me back, she was not happy.

I think the man kind of liked it as he laughed a lot, mommy was not laughing, and I was confined to the bathroom for the duration of the sell speech.  No sell was made as I am sure mommy was too embarrassed to think.  When she closed the door she let me out of the bathroom, I was of course very happy to be with her again and wagged my tail and gave her my happy smile.  She just shook her head and giggled.  I think she thought it was funny.

When I was a puppy, she was the one who took me to the puppy training classes and by the way I graduated as top dog in my class. Mommy really spent a lot of time training me and it showed.  Anyway, one day I was smelling the instructor's crotch and the woman smacked my snout and told mommy that she needed to stop this behavior right away. Mommy found this strange as the instructor also specified to the group that hitting your dog was not a good training option, but this woman hit my snout!  Mommy could never bring herself to hit me so I was never stopped from sniffing crotches but she does try to hold me back.

One time she had the minister and his family over for dinner and they had their two year old daughter with them who was still in diapers, the little girl ran up onto the couch and was sitting with legs apart and I could smell that diaper.  I had my snout right up in there and mommy was horrified but the minister and his wife and daughter by the way just laughed.  Mommy really did not think that was funny, but diapers really have a lot to offer to the nose in terms of scent.

I do not know why I do this, I am a dog and I guess I just like it.  Plus I am friendly, maybe a little too friendly and forward in my getting to know someone but dogs will be dogs.

Irritated

Grrrrrrrrroooowwwwllllll!!!  I had such a stressful day today and am so irritated!  Mommy left to do errands, did not take me with her, sure I know she needs time to herself and there are just certain places I can not go but I missed her today.  I was so happy when she came home, wagged my tail like crazy and ran to the door to be let out, then fed.  She seemed kind of distracted for some reason, while she was sitting on the couch I went over and put my head on her knee and looked up at her until she rubbed my ears.  Seeing her smile reassured me she was OK.

She has had a bad year and a half, daddy left her after she discovered he was cheating.  Well, she basically kicked his lying cheating ass to the curb.  I thought he really loved us.  He only came by to take me for a weekend once, that was it.  When he would come over to pick up some things he did not play with me, he did not pet my head, he ignored me.  Mommy tried to reassure me he was just dealing with things in his own way but it still hurt.  I overheard him say to mommy, "I will let you have him for now as you do not have anyone here" and when he left mommy said, "fuck that shit asshole he is mine, I trained him, I walked him, I took care of him and I am keeping him"  and she did.  Mommy always encouraged daddy to visit, to take me for a week or weekend, she never stopped him but he had no desire so I think she knew he was not interested in really having me.  He just did not care, probably did not want the responsibility of having to take care of me while all he really wanted to do was bang the skank.

I used to be able to hear his car when he pulled into the driveway and would bark signaling his arrival, it only took me two weeks to stop looking for him.  He was emotionally distant before he left anyway, guess it had to do with him cheating and being emotionally involved with the skanky weirdo he was with.  Mommy deserves so much better than daddy and one day when she is ready she will date but right now, she is not even traveling that road.  So I have her all to myself.  Mommy is doing so much better, she has this saying, "All Susan did for me was take my trash out."   Heeeeee, heeeee, I get it, daddy was her trash and Susan the skanky twot did her a favor by taking out her trash (daddy).  

Mommy stopped crying a long time ago.  She and daddy were going to adopt when daddy was caught cheating and he also cheated again once while trying to naturally have a baby, but mommy says I am her baby boy.  And she says this a lot, "Outlaw is the best thing that came out of my marriage."  I think I am irritated today because mommy seems sad, but I know it is not about daddy as she stopped breaking things that belonged to him or reminded her of him.  I think I am the one who is still angry with daddy, I look out the window when mommy is gone and watch daddy's walking their dogs up and down the street and my daddy left me.

They have divorce care groups for humans but why not animals??  I mean it would be nice to find an outlet for my anger and pain towards this divorce.  I used to have two parents, now just one and the other does not even want to see me!! I have feelings, I feel the pain of his departure, I heard that the skank has a dog, I guess this dog has replaced me, not only was mommy replaced but I was too.  Daddy never even helped mommy with my vet bills when they were separated, mommy took care of me from day one to now.  I do not let mommy know how I feel but I get sad sometimes as I wonder why it was so easy for daddy to forget about me.  I think he was selfish, and immature and lost.  It is easier to walk away than to stay and work through things.  So, the dog that gets my daddy now will one day be forgotten and left behind too, that is the nature of the beast.

Don't mess with me

What a restless night I had, exhausted by the adventure I had yesterday I fell asleep rather quickly after dinner.  Mommy has a king size bed, just enough for the two of us.  She kept waking me up last night to yell at me.  Here I am sleeping, dreaming of swimming and chasing cats and running free and she would wake me up yelling, "Outlaw stop kicking me!"  "Move or get down!" 

I do not know, maybe I was kicking her maybe not, I mean, I try to stay on my side of the king size bed but mommy is so warm and cuddly that I like being near her.  I overheard her talking to a friend once and she said my legs, all four of them were kicking her in her back and kept her from having a good nights sleep.  Hmmm, could be some truth in it but all I know is I was having such a pleasurable dream and I was abruptly pulled back into a harsh reality.  She does not stay mad at me for long, usually she falls right back to sleep and oh hell, it is OK, I can be honest now mommy just walked out of the office and is not reading over my shoulder, I did kick her!  I kicked her a few times all the while pretending I was sleeping because I am still mad at her for not letting me swim yesterday!  

That is my number one favorite activity and she would not allow me the pleasure but instead took me to the park with water all around us to do what, let me enjoy our walk??  No, but to tease me, to remind me she is the master and calls all the shots, so why not get a little revenge last night and remind her I am the master as I can control her too, I can ensure she has a restless night in bed or a peaceful nights rest.  Humans, oh crap, here she comes again.