Irritated

Grrrrrrrrroooowwwwllllll!!!  I had such a stressful day today and am so irritated!  Mommy left to do errands, did not take me with her, sure I know she needs time to herself and there are just certain places I can not go but I missed her today.  I was so happy when she came home, wagged my tail like crazy and ran to the door to be let out, then fed.  She seemed kind of distracted for some reason, while she was sitting on the couch I went over and put my head on her knee and looked up at her until she rubbed my ears.  Seeing her smile reassured me she was OK.

She has had a bad year and a half, daddy left her after she discovered he was cheating.  Well, she basically kicked his lying cheating ass to the curb.  I thought he really loved us.  He only came by to take me for a weekend once, that was it.  When he would come over to pick up some things he did not play with me, he did not pet my head, he ignored me.  Mommy tried to reassure me he was just dealing with things in his own way but it still hurt.  I overheard him say to mommy, "I will let you have him for now as you do not have anyone here" and when he left mommy said, "fuck that shit asshole he is mine, I trained him, I walked him, I took care of him and I am keeping him"  and she did.  Mommy always encouraged daddy to visit, to take me for a week or weekend, she never stopped him but he had no desire so I think she knew he was not interested in really having me.  He just did not care, probably did not want the responsibility of having to take care of me while all he really wanted to do was bang the skank.

I used to be able to hear his car when he pulled into the driveway and would bark signaling his arrival, it only took me two weeks to stop looking for him.  He was emotionally distant before he left anyway, guess it had to do with him cheating and being emotionally involved with the skanky weirdo he was with.  Mommy deserves so much better than daddy and one day when she is ready she will date but right now, she is not even traveling that road.  So I have her all to myself.  Mommy is doing so much better, she has this saying, "All Susan did for me was take my trash out."   Heeeeee, heeeee, I get it, daddy was her trash and Susan the skanky twot did her a favor by taking out her trash (daddy).  

Mommy stopped crying a long time ago.  She and daddy were going to adopt when daddy was caught cheating and he also cheated again once while trying to naturally have a baby, but mommy says I am her baby boy.  And she says this a lot, "Outlaw is the best thing that came out of my marriage."  I think I am irritated today because mommy seems sad, but I know it is not about daddy as she stopped breaking things that belonged to him or reminded her of him.  I think I am the one who is still angry with daddy, I look out the window when mommy is gone and watch daddy's walking their dogs up and down the street and my daddy left me.

They have divorce care groups for humans but why not animals??  I mean it would be nice to find an outlet for my anger and pain towards this divorce.  I used to have two parents, now just one and the other does not even want to see me!! I have feelings, I feel the pain of his departure, I heard that the skank has a dog, I guess this dog has replaced me, not only was mommy replaced but I was too.  Daddy never even helped mommy with my vet bills when they were separated, mommy took care of me from day one to now.  I do not let mommy know how I feel but I get sad sometimes as I wonder why it was so easy for daddy to forget about me.  I think he was selfish, and immature and lost.  It is easier to walk away than to stay and work through things.  So, the dog that gets my daddy now will one day be forgotten and left behind too, that is the nature of the beast.